Self-cursing: the trap you set for yourself

Feeling that you are going round in circles, repeating the same failures or getting in your own way does not necessarily mean that an outside influence is at work. Sometimes it is our own patterns that end up taking over.

I use the term self-cursing (« auto-envoûtement » in French) to describe certain situations in which a person feels blocked even though no one outside can be held responsible.

This word belongs to my vocabulary as a practitioner. It is not a medical or psychological diagnosis, and it does not describe a scientifically established phenomenon.

Rather, it helps me talk about mechanisms that can keep feeding themselves: repeated beliefs, fear of failure, self-criticism, behaviours that repeat, or reading every difficulty as confirmation that « something is blocking me ».

And this distinction matters: before looking for an outside influence, it can sometimes be useful to look at what keeps repeating within your own story.

What do I mean by « self-cursing »?

Nobody deliberately decides to block themselves. The mechanisms I am talking about are usually far more subtle.

A person may, for example, have learnt very early on that they were not capable of succeeding, that they did not deserve certain things, or that they always had to be wary when everything was going well.

Over time, a conviction can influence your choices, your reactions and the way you interpret events.

A circle can then form: I expect to fail, some of my behaviour is shaped by that fear, and then the failure reinforces what I already believed.

When these signs may point to something else

Persistent tiredness, loss of drive, very negative thoughts, the feeling of not deserving anything, withdrawal or the sense that nothing makes sense any more should not automatically be interpreted as self-cursing.

Some of these signs can be present in depression or in another psychological or medical difficulty.

You can also read the information on depression from Ameli (the French national health insurance website).

Magnetic healing is a complementary approach to well-being. It never replaces medical advice, a diagnosis, psychotherapy, a treatment or medical follow-up.

Five forms of self-blocking I come across regularly

These are not criteria for diagnosing « self-cursing ». They are simply mechanisms that some people recognise in their own journey.

1. Messages taken on very early

« You will never manage it », « in our family, we never have any luck », « that is not for people like us ». Some phrases heard over and over again can have a lasting influence on the way we see ourselves.

2. Thoughts that go round in circles

Constantly telling yourself that you are going to fail, or that you do not deserve what happens to you, can change your confidence, your decisions and the way you approach situations.

3. What has never really been set down

An old anger, a sadness, a fear or a difficult experience can go on weighing on you for a long time. This does not mean that an emotion is « stored energetically »: some experiences simply need time, and sometimes psychological support too.

4. Very harsh words towards yourself

« I am cursed », « I will never be happy », « I deserve what is happening to me ». When a person keeps repeating phrases like these, they can reinforce a very negative view of themselves and of their future.

5. The way you look at yourself

Some people grant themselves far less understanding than they would grant someone else. Constant self-criticism can become a very hard way of living with yourself.

Self-sabotage and self-cursing: what is the difference?

These two expressions can describe very similar realities. The main difference lies mostly in the vocabulary used.

Self-sabotage (psychological vocabulary)

We generally talk about self-sabotage when a person adopts, often without being fully aware of it, behaviours that take them away from a goal they nonetheless want to reach.

Self-cursing (the term I use in my practice)

I use this expression when the person describes their repetitions as something that seems to overwhelm them or lock them in, even though no outside influence needs to be invoked to explain them.

In both cases, beliefs, behaviours and past experiences can end up feeding one another.

When certain repetitions make you feel stuck

The people who talk to me about self-cursing often describe situations like these:

• Repeating the same kind of failure in one area of your life.
• Finding it very hard to believe that you deserve a relationship, a success or a happy period.
• Interpreting a run of difficulties as proof of « permanent bad luck ».
• Withdrawing or giving up precisely when something is starting to work.
• Having great difficulty accepting a compliment, help or a sign of affection.
• Feeling that you understand your pattern intellectually without yet managing to get out of it.

What I do in a session

When someone comes to see me feeling that they are going round in circles, or carrying something they can no longer get past, I do not try to confirm that some invisible phenomenon is present.

I work within the framework of my practice as a magnetic healer, based on what I sense and on what the person wishes to set down during the session.

1. A time without judgement

You can talk about what you are going through without having to defend or justify the way you feel it.

2. Supporting the letting go

Some people describe more calm, lightness or release during or after the session. These feelings are individual.

3. Finding a little distance

The session can offer a space to step out of the repetition for a moment and come back to yourself.

My own perceptions during a session remain subjective. They are neither a diagnosis nor proof that an energy, a knot or an invisible phenomenon is objectively present.

I cannot guarantee that a session will change a life pattern, prevent another failure or make a block disappear.

Before blaming the outside, also look at what repeats within you

When a period becomes difficult, it can be tempting to look straight away for someone responsible, an attack, the evil eye or an outside influence.

But not every period of being blocked calls for that explanation.

Sometimes, simply looking at your own repetitions, fears or habits already gives you more room to move.

Self-cursing, evil eye or outside attack?

These terms are often mixed up. I have chosen to deal with them separately so as not to automatically turn a difficult period into an outside phenomenon.

• Main article: witchcraft, evil eye or self-cursing?
• The evil eye: signs people feel and how I support them
• Psychic attacks: how I approach these feelings

You can also see everything I help with.

They have had a session: here is what they say

The published reviews let you discover what different people say about their own experience after a session. These testimonials remain personal and are not a guarantee of results.

Come when you feel ready

Feeling blocked for a long time can give the impression that a force greater than yourself is directing events.

I prefer not to lock you even further into that idea.

I will not tell you that you have cursed yourself, and I will not claim to remove an invisible phenomenon.

What I offer you is a space where you can set down what weighs on you, find some calm, step back and refocus on what is right for you.

If psychological work is also needed, the two approaches can perfectly well go hand in hand.

Lionel Roubine · Magnetic Healer · Burn Healer (« coupeur de feu »)

For 27 years, I have been supporting people who are suffering, at my practice in Le Perreux-sur-Marne and remotely in 26 countries.

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